She was casted into the shadows and overlooked by everyone in her family. Here’s how I think why she became the way she had.

First off she’s the only Princess. Being a girl (the only girl) and the youngest already makes her the lesser than her cousin and brother in the eyes of the social standards of their political system. And now onto her family of what made her who she became. Also because she was pushed into the shadows she craved attention and lots of praise.

Keep in mind all of this is my own opinion from my observations of the show and information that was given in official books for Avatar: The Last Airbender.

Azulon: A firebending prodigy himself didn’t find her all that impressive and favored Iroh a lot because since Iroh is his first born SON. And as displayed, he was very concern for Iroh and Lu Ten because by the proper birth right chain, Lu Ten would later succeed Iroh and Iroh would succeed him.

Lu Ten: The next Crowned Prince once his father, Iroh, was supposed to take the throne if everything in the show didn’t get messed up. Not much can be said about his relation with Azula, but since he is the next in line after Iroh he would have gotten the most attention.

Iroh: It was heavily shown in the flashbacks that Iroh paid more attention to Zuko and not Azula. Zuko was given a special pearl dagger from the general who surrendered to Iroh after the Fire Nation broke through the outer wall with a message of, “Never give up without a fight”. While Azula seemed to have been an after thought to him since he got her a doll with the latest Earth Kingdom girl fashion.

Ozai: She was his puppet. Never was it shown that he actually cared about his daughter’s well being. It was all about her doing his dirty work for him all so she could gain acceptance and “love” from her father. She had to work to please him and to get what she wanted. She could have easily ended up just like Zuko if she did all the things her brother did. Since he’s the only one to pay attention to her, even for his own agenda.

Ursa: Went with the tough love approach with her. She was often told not to say something or act a certain way because it was cruel or wrong. When Azula showed off to her grandfather she wasn’t praised by her mother. Her mother was more concerned with Zuko because he wasn’t able to stand up for himself. I think if Ursa paid an equal attention to her as she did Zuko, Azula wouldn’t act the way she does. She picks on Zuko to get her mother’s attention. I also think Azula was trying to call out to Ursa that she needed help. A lot of Azula’s attitude in the series involves her mother as seen in Book 3. What her mother thought of her meant a lot to Azula. She didn’t want to be seen as a monster in her mother’s eyes. She wanted the same unconditional love her mother gave to Zuko and that’s why it probably hurt her to hear the imagination of Ursa say that she truly loved her, it was what Azula really wanted from her mother.

Zuko: He couldn’t tell if he could trust his sister or not. For a long time she was always picking on him or making him question himself and his decisions. In The Beach you can see that they do care about each other if they’re away from their responsibilities as the Prince and Princess. Azula knew where to find Zuko because they both had memories of happier times with their family on Ember Island, but something changed to cause them to be who they are. In Zuko Alone, it shows that they were able to get along and play with each other. Also in a way being the two youngest and the prince and princess they really did only have each other to play with until they had to attend school. Constantly throughout the show Zuko is seen struggling to trust Azula. He does show concern for her though. In The Southern Raiders, he was worried, even if it was a little, she wasn’t going to make it. Also he didn’t have to send her to an asylum, but he did. There could be a chance she recovers, but that’s something we don’t know.

With Mai and Ty Lee, they were her best friends from school. While Azula did set Zuko and Mai up, she didn’t like how she was losing Mai’s attention. Ty Lee was the one who gave her a lot of praise. In The Beach, she was jealous of the attention Ty Lee was getting from all the boys. I don’t think it had anything to do with Azula really wanting a boyfriend, but the attention. Azula seeks praise and attention from what little she got as a child.

By the time Sozin’s Comet arrived she had a lost everything including Fire Lord. Once her father proclaimed himself the Phoenix King all of the meaning for the title ‘Fire Lord’ meant nothing even if she held the title. She would never rule like she had been told she would. Azula probably felt she had never been unconditionally loved or wanted since she had to earn her father’s “love”, she believed her mother thought she was a monster, Iroh obviously favored Zuko and thought little of her, and Zuko was always questioning her motives. Losing Mai and Ty Lee made it worse. They were the last two she had any loyalty from. Mai chose her love for Zuko over the Fire Nation, and in turn Azula. As it was seen in earlier episodes in Book 3, Mai was already questioning Azula when the Princess told her Ty Lee needed help with her braids all so Azula could talk to Zuko alone. Only reason Ty Lee betrayed Azula was to keep the Princess from murdering their other friend. Ty Lee had been shown very loyal to Azula until the very end.

Again it all has to do with attention. If she was given the same amount of attention as Zuko did by Ursa and Iroh, she probably wouldn’t be the way she became. Azula pretty much did not have anyone in her corner. Zuko had Ursa and later Iroh always on his corner helping him, caring about him, and guiding him. Azula wasn’t born the way she was portrayed in the series. Her nurture was stacked against her.